Relationships & Friendships
When I was 16, I had my first serious boyfriend. As I went through high school, like many other young girls, I went through a handful of guys that I thought I was going to be with for a long time. When you go through a break up, you always wonder, "What did I do?" or "What could I have done differently?" I always racked my brain and quickly became insecure. I deemed myself the issue. This is never the case.
You do not decide who you are going to be with for the long haul. You can go through as many guys or as many girls as you want, but in the end God is going to put you with the person that he created for you. You can be the most loving and thoughtful girlfriend/boyfriend in the world, and I promise you it will never be enough if He isn't apart of it.
Now, I'm not saying that you need to be single and wait for that person, but if you want to, that's your choice and all the power to you. But in life, God allows us free will- we make the decision to be in certain relationships and friendships, and if it doesn't work out, we end up blaming ourselves.
I'm here to tell you that it didn't work out for a reason. God opens and closes the doors that we walk through in life. You might be so pissed at him that he took away that fling that you wanted to turn into a relationship, or because you and your boyfriend of 3 years broke up, or maybe because your best friend of "forever" and you go through a rough patch and it breaks your heart- it's all because he decides that where he is taking you, they cannot follow. See, God has these people he wants to put in your life so that they can encourage you to grow closer to him. He removes the people that do not provide positivity, encouragement, compassion, and love...
However, the saying is true, if they are meant for you, relationship or friendship, He will bring them back to you. Sometimes, God takes you and molds you to become a better version of yourself and wants you to be the one to encourage them to have the relationship with him. That's how he works through people, that's what he wants us to do for him- spread his word, help our friends know him, brag about our relationship with him; that's the only thing we should be boasting about. The best friendships are consumed in Christ; they're joyful and loving. There's such a difference in your relationship with a person when you have him at the center.
You're going to go through lots of loves and lots of friends, and some are going to be around for the long haul. But, as you grow in Christ you will come to realize which ones are good for you and which ones will lead you down a path that'll turn you into someone that you don't recognize- THAT'S OKAY. You're going to go through some hard times, and it's not because he doesn't love you, it's because he wants your faith to grow in him- in the hard times, your faith is put to the test; I like to call them "growing pains." Look, I've been through break ups and friendships that have completely shattered my heart and caused me to cry myself to sleep. We've all been there. If there was no pain in this life, then who would we thank for the good?You are never alone. I'll say it again, you are never, never, never alone. He watches you go through everything. Remember this: the hurtful times in your life are not meant to destroy you. Eventually, you'll be able to quickly distinguish between those that give light to your soul and those that do not.
I want something to made very clear- do not be upset with yourself if you give a piece of you to that person. God does not hate you for giving up yourself to someone. We are all sinners. The good news- he died so that we could be saved. God knows exactly who you are, he knows your heart, he knows you're a sinner. Your mind is a battlefield. What goes on in your mind does not reflect your heart. He knows you down to the atoms. He is so forgiving, do not ever think that you aren't deserving of his forgiveness. Anyone who says otherwise does not know him.
The Take Away:
Ultimately, he wants you to realize that you deserve the best and nothing less. He doesn't want you to settle- not for that one sided friendship nor that dull relationship. A good marriage - a good relationship - is based on God. He made someone just for you, but until you're ready, he's going to allow you to find yourself, but he'll be there every step of the way.
Some verses for today:
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”